Shattered Dreams: My Life as a Polygamist's Wife by Irene Spencer

From Goodreads:

Irene Spencer did as she felt God commanded in marrying her brother-in-law Verlan LeBaron, becoming his second wife. When the government raided the fundamentalist, polygamous Mormon village of Short Creek, Arizona, Irene and her family fled to Verlan's brothers' Mexican ranch. They lived in squalor and desolate conditions in the Mexican desert with Verlan's six brothers, one sister, and numerous wives and children. Readers will be appalled and astonished, but most amazingly, greatly inspired. Irene's dramatic story reveals how far religion can be stretched and abused and how one woman and her children found their way out, into truth and redemption.

The first part of this book had me cringing as Irene laid out her Mormon Fundamentalist beliefs- things that are so similar to my own religious convictions, but twisted. Those things all sounded so similar but more than a little..off.

The rest of the book had me riveted as Irene bore 14 children and tried to survive in ridiculous living conditions as the second of what would eventually become ten wives.

I thought more of the book would involve the infamous Ervil LeBaron, her husband's brother, seeing as he spent many years trying to kill her husband (and her), but he's barely mentioned as Irene details her struggles with poverty, loneliness, and ideas and desires that go against her lifetime of indoctrination. As it turns out, she wrote another book called Cult Insanity about her experiences with Ervil that I think I'll pick up.

This book was bleak and soul-crushing in so many ways but knowing she eventually had a happy ending kept me hooked. I cheered when she finally broke free but I also found a new understanding for those who insist on continuing to practice polygamy. No matter how horrible your life may be, generations of indoctrination are hard to break free from, especially when eternity is at stake.

I was pleasantly surprised by the writing itself. I have to admit to not expecting much from a high school dropout with an ax to grind but she tells her story so well--concisely, with grace and a sense of humor. She sticks to the facts and how she felt and doesn't resort to laying blame with anyone, including the deluded leaders who led her into so much misery and suffering.

This book is a fascinating glimpse into a fiercely secretive world. Totally worth a read.