Leah Vincent was born into the Yeshivish community, a fundamentalist sect of ultra-Orthodox Judaism. As the daughter of an influential rabbi, Leah and her ten siblings were raised to worship two things: God and the men who ruled their world. But the tradition-bound future Leah envisioned for herself was cut short when, at sixteen, she was caught exchanging letters with a male friend, a violation of religious law that forbids contact between members of the opposite sex. Leah's parents were unforgiving. Afraid, in part, that her behavior would affect the marriage prospects of their other children, they put her on a plane and cut off ties. Cast out in New York City, without a father or husband tethering her to the Orthodox community, Leah was unprepared to navigate the freedoms of secular life. She spent the next few years using her sexuality as a way of attracting the male approval she had been conditioned to seek out as a child, while becoming increasingly unfaithful to the religious dogma of her past.
I don't remember how I heard about this book but it fit right in with my religious memoir kick. This one, however, was FAR more intense than the others. Leah Vincent was cut off from her family and community for the sin of exchanging letters with a boy. She was completely unprepared for regular life alone in a big city and ended up in...situations. I don't want to spoil it but I seriously sat there wide-eyed through most of the book. I kept thinking, "Surely this is rock bottom." And then something else would happen and I'd be like, "Oh...nope, this is it." And then...you get the picture.
At one point she decided she was so broken that her only real option was prostitution. That did not go well for her.
The thing that totally broke my heart about this book is that Leah was really trying. She didn't CHOOSE to leave her faith tradition. They unceremoniously kicked her out because they saw someone who was struggling a bit.
That hit pretty close to home. I'm a part of some groups of people who are all over the faith spectrum when it comes to the Mormon church. The saddest part is that most of these people are really trying. They want to stay. But when they ask questions or raise concerns an incredibly common response from the community is, "Why don't you just leave the church?" Why are orthodox religions so quick to shove the struggling ones from the nest? What is it about doubt that scares us so much that we're willing to kick a soul out completely rather than try and help them through it and find their place?
There was a lot in Vincent's book that I couldn't relate to but a surprising amount that felt familiar. This book isn't for everyone (there's some sexual content) but I found it honest and amazing.
No comments:
Post a Comment